I’ve been thinking lately about going back to work. I always said I never wanted to be a stay at home mom, and while I’ve really enjoyed the 4 years I’ve been home, I’m bored and tired of the disrespect. I feel constantly looked down upon for not working. I feel like when we have money problems, the problem wouldn’t be there if I had a job.
I’ve done a medical job search but there’s just nothing in the field that piques my interest. I don’t want retail to be my future but I feel like it’s all I enjoy.. I love customers, I love that environment, and I feel like somebody’s got to do it. Hey, what’s so bad about becoming a manager of a store or working up even further to the district or headquarters? Hey, most CEOs start somewhere! I put in a few applications today but I doubt much will come of it at this point. 
But only because I look really bad in them. In fact, I adore dresses. One of the main reasons I regret leaving high school early, is simply the fact that I couldn’t go to the mall and look at prom dresses. Back then I was skinny and could fit into the cutest ones, and pull them off. I wore a dress to my wedding, but that was a small thing in a Justice of the Peace office in San Antonio. If I were still thin, you bet your bottom dollar I’d be wearing dresses all the time. I just love them and some of the styles now are super cute.
Maybe one day I’ll be thin again and will be able to wear whatever cute items I want, and look good in them!
I am really bad at remembering medications. I have this memory problem. I have a photographic memory and I can remember things that happened months or years ago, even remember where I was standing, and what I was wearing.. but I cannot for the life of me remember little things like taking vitamins or making calls that I need to make. I have a few medications I’m supposed to be taking right now, including one that helps with my metabolism and would probably help me lose weight. It’s not a fat burner, but is supposed to help speed up my body’s processes. Maybe I should set alarms on my phone or something.
</div>
I have no idea what my sister does for a living? I do know that she owns a couple of online businesses. There’s a web-design business, an advertising business and something else.. I think. For all I know, she could be the CEO of a company that deals with business intelligence dashboards.. but I’d never know. Maybe I should ask one day. People will ask me what she does, when I say she works from home. Honestly, I have no clue. I tell them “Oh she owns some online businesses” and if they try to pry deeper, I’ll steer them off track. I guess I’m kind of ashamed that I have no idea. 
Now that we are in our new house, I can’t help but hope it will push along a much needed lifestyle change. As well as trying to find affordable diet pills that work since I have such a hard time losing weight, and finding ones that are safe.. to trying to eat better and get more exercise.. I need some things to change and I need to lose weight, BAD. I feel so gross.. all of my clothes are too snug and I just feel blubbery.. yuck. Hopefully I can keep pushing myself and get back on track.. maybe one day feel comfortable in my own skin.
